


A Fresh Start

by Thisisrigged4



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29190561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thisisrigged4/pseuds/Thisisrigged4
Summary: Aviva never believed she was capable of anything long term until a certain crew member makes question if this was the case anymore.Now she is forced to accept and confront her feelings and dark thoughts head on.
Relationships: Female Captain/Felix Millstone, The Captain/Felix Millstone, The Captain/Maximillian DeSoto, The Captain/Parvati Holcomb
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

Life in halcyon was interesting to say the least. Avi still couldn't get behind how the people here thought that two rations fish was livable, or even enjoyable. She was also struggling to accept that she has to share one toilet with five other people. To top it all off, she somehow was supposed to be in-charge of this crew that was willing to help her ruin everything.

Even though the were tough at times, she adored her crew of strays, but the two that rose to the top were Max and Felix. 

Avi and Max? Nothing in common at all. If she had met him back on earth she might have hated him and never given him the time of day. Now, pretending to dislike him is precisely how they get along. 

Felix on the other hand was a different story. She never wanted to hate a person more. He was goofy, never really thought things out, and just so overly reckless. She'd usually hate these qualities in anybody but yet couldn't find it in herself to dislike him. Truthful, she was drawn to him in a way that no one has before. As much as a liability he was, he was also the most fun and easiest to be around. When she was with him things felt natural. She never had to try to get along with him and she liked who she was with him, even if she would never admit it out loud.

She only thought about them in the moment because she couldn't find where the hell they went. She had asked Max to distract Felix while she went to pick up two copies of some serial he and Parvati both wanted. She hadn't realized that meant they would being going rogue.

If I were Felix, where would I be? She thought. She didn't think there was any tossball showing today she he wouldn't be at the lost hope and he never told her about any friends he may have had in the back bays. 

Wait. She thought as she found the nearest Rizzo's machine and low and behold, Felix is buying up everything that mentions the word sugar. Max was acting like his shopping cart, struggling to keep everything from falling out of his arms. 

"Is all that really necessary?" She said while trying not to laugh at Max. 

"He says that he needs to refill his stash. What I think he needs is a refill of brain cells."

"And I think you need to pull that tossball stick out of you ass preacher." Alright now that was too funny not to laugh at.

"Well whenever you two are finally done can you meet me back at the ship?" The idea of finally handing over the gift to Felix gave her gut a twist. She was really hoping he liked it, hell, she wanted to impress him but couldn't think of anything better than a serial copy.

"Right behind ya Boss."


	2. Chapter 2

Aviva smiled ear to ear as she made her way to the kitchen to grab drinks. She had went out and bought gifts for the crew and really hit a home run with Felix and Parvati. Some weird Adventure serial had finally released a new installment and she was able to get her hands on a copy for each of them. Now they all had plans to sit and watch it together and Aviva couldn’t wait. 

Purpleberry wine for Parvati, Zero Gee for herself and...

Shit, we’re out Spectrum red, she thought. Aviva had forget that Ellie and Nyoka drank the rest of it, she also knew that Felix would want it. She figured she outta take a trip into stellar bay to restock. 

She begins to leave the ship and passes Parvati in the storage area. 

“Hey where you going? I thought you were going to watch the serial with us.” Parvati called out. 

“We are out of Spectrum and I know Felix wants it. I’ll only be a few.”

“Oh mind if I come along? I could use a few things.” Aviva nods and the two were out to the general store and chit chatting along the way. Mostly about Parvati’s ladies problems though and Aviva asking parvati for advice.

“So I picked up some rapt skin the other day and sewn it onto a gun holster for Nyoka. Do you think she’d like that? Or do I just have bad judgement?” Aviva loved to do personalized gifts and surprising people. Especially when they don’t expect it. If small random gifts made her crew happy, it made her happy.

“Well she does have a persevered head in her room, and skin on her Armor. I’m sure she will like it. You hit me and Felix on the nose!” This made Aviva smile and gave Parvati a pair of finger guns. 

“See, I pay attention most days of the week. For example, do you notice every time you talk to Felix about some new serial his eyes get real wide and his voice goes a little higher.”

“I think we all noticed the eye thing, but that’s really observant to you to notice his voice.” 

“Little quirks are cute. I like to notice them.”

All Aviva could think was, Shit Shit Shit.  
“Also, captain, you two been hanging out a lot too. You laugh a lot more around him."

Was she suggesting what she thought she was suggesting? She couldn't be. "I suppose so."

She felt her cheeks start to flush and her thoughts began to go else where. "He is charming in an awkward sort of way. He also gives great hugs and the best company."

Aviva looked over to see Parvati smiling so happily at her. They had finally finished purchasing their drinks as Parvati laughed at her slightly.

"Maybe I outta excuse myself out this movie night."

"Don't you dare!" If she wasn't red alright, she surely was now

Her thoughts of Felix have always been platonic. Could she actually... Like him?

"Please don't leave, or I might completely embarrass myself."

"Oh alright, I won't leave you. Well, this time at least."


	3. Chapter 3

Her conversation with Parvati played on repeat through her head for the entirety of the next day. It made no sense, her liking Felix. Every relationship she ever had in the past was an ‘used and be used’ type of ideal. Feelings make things complicated. Besides they were way too different to ever be compatible. He values borderline anarchy at times, while she values order. 

How could she be attracted to someone who’s qualities she hates if it was anyone else? For the last day he was all she could think about and it was driving her crazy. The only thing that is keeping her distracted was her mini hunting trip with Nyoka and Ellie. Max would probably spend the day reading and Parvati would probably be trying to speak to ada. She thought Felix would join them hunting but instead when to the tossball betting place and that sparked a little bit of jealousy. Avi liked Nell and her jealous made her feel guilty. 

"Captain behind you!" Ellies voice snaps her back from reality as rapts acid covers her boots. Aviva quickly picked off the last of the nest before turning back to them. They were looking at her with a 'what the hell' expression on both their faces. 

"Well, it looks like I'm now in your debt Ellie." Trying to make the situation lighter but seemingly made it even more awkward.

"What's up with you today? Your mind is somewhere else," Nyoka asked. She hardly wanted to speak to Parvati about it, let alone these two. She likes them but doubts they would be the givers of good advice. Nyoka maybe she consider talking to if they managed to get away from Ellie. 

"Talk about it on the ship, until then I need a fucking good distraction. A mantiqueen should suffice." This was a terrible idea but also seemed to be the most fun. And stupid, as pointed out by Ellie. As long Nyoka was down, Aviva went ahead with her terrible idea. 

The trio trekked around for about 20 minutes before they finally found one. Instead of trying to sneak up to the killer insect like she normally would, she just went in guns blazing, followed by the others. After the fight Ellie suggested they call it a day and head back to stellar bay, to Aviva's dismay. She hated the idea of going back to being stuck inside her own head. Nyoka suggest stopping by the yacht club for a drink and she quickly agreed. At least she can drink that conversation out of her head. Hopefully. 

The trek back to stellar bay was nothing special, a few marauders hear and there but made it back in a timely matter. Ellie made some excuse to break away from the group.

"Alright. Spill."

"What?" Aviva said and already had 3 spectrum sitting in front of her.

"You said you would talk about it." Nyoka kept pushing.

"I said on the ship, last time I checked we are currently in a bar," Avi tried to deflect as she downed that first bottle. 

"It might help you to talk than to beat yourself up." She knew Nyoka was right but just didn't want to admit it. She wanted to ignore it for as long as possible because talking about it makes it real. She wasn't going to drop it. Unless?

"It's easy to feel trapped, or it is for me at least." She spun a lie. Not even a lie, more of a half truth. Something that was easier to admit. "Trapped somewhere else. On the hope maybe." 

"Well, you were frozen for how many years?" 

"That's not what I mean." She had to take a deep breath to figure out how she would continue this lie. "The only two people I cared about from earth are on that ship. Sometimes I think the worst, that they won't survive when Phineas tries to wake them." 

This. This was a truth that Avi had yet to admit to even herself, and it honestly had her surprised. She was more surprised that she said it out loud. Nyoka was saying something but Aviva wasn't hearing a word. How did this go from a harmless crush to worrying about her family? Suddenly, talking about Felix didn't sound to bad.

"So, I might be interested in someone." Trying to change the topic to something less depressing. 

"Oh really? You have the gall to tell me who the lucky man might be?" She considered saying Hiram just to fuck with her. It would make for interesting conversation. 

"I never said it was a man." She said, some what light-hearted. Saying it out loud made it real. Now not only does she have to surpress her feelings for Felix, but surpress her worry for her dad and friend. 

All she could think was, Fuck me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aviva and Max go to see the hermit on Scylla

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> During the drug trip, Aviva has her own hallucinations that sparks up old memories.

That drug trip may have helped Max, but had Aviva even more messed up than before. Her hands kept flying to her already messy hair as she sat in in the corner of her room. She lit a cigarette, a habit she had been trying to kick. She wishes she could have had the mind settling experience that max had. Instead, she was confronted by her past self, a girl she wished never existed. Her voice kept ringing in her head. 

"How can you hate me? I was the victim.   
I was only a kid, what could I have done?  
Why didn't anyone do anything?  
Why didn't anyone come to help me?  
Why did I have to suffer?"

It all kept ringing and ringing. These memories she tried so hard to suppress just kept coming up again. She was kid who was taken advantage of in front of peoples eyes and they did nothing. That little girl was a stranger to her now, the very image of everything she hoped to never be again. 

Helpless, ignored, and unwanted. A victim. Like she was incapable of holding any sort of happiness.

She knew that she was just a kid and it wasn't her fault but it made her feel weak and vulnerable. Exposed maybe? The thought of being forced to rely on people made her feel sick. If she couldn't rely on people when she was truly in need, how could she now? She hated to think so poorly of everyone but how could she not? When all people ever seem to show is their terrible sides.

The knock on the door finally snapped her back to reality for the first time in hours. "Captain, may I have a word with you?"

It was Max, he had stepped in the door and saw her sitting on the floor. He came and joined her on the floor.

"I thought you were busy renouncing your religion." She said, trying to pass it as a joke. 

"And you been busy in here it seems."

"Aw thank you for noticing. Do you want a reward?" She was deflecting. She knew what was coming but didn't know how to say it out loud. Max was the only person in this terrible colony that she could be completely open and honest with. She is upset with her results of the drug trip but didn't want to reflect her new found sadness onto his new happiness. If she got into his head she wouldn't forgive herself.

"Max you don't hav-" She starts but was cut off.

"You don't have to hide anything captain. Please, what's on your mind?" She took a deep breath as he said this and sunk into the wall as much as she could. 

"Just remembering some things I'd rather forget." She mumbled and grabbed Max's arm lightly for comfort. "That trip brought back some memories. Things I'm not proud of, still aren't. Things that just make me feel so empty... and weak."

"You aren't weak. You are so strong." He tried to comfort her, placing his hand on top of hers. 

"I don't feel strong Max. You don't know who I used to be. I used to be scared to look over my own shoulder. I don't know that person, she is a stranger to me. She is everything I hoped I'd never be again because thought of it scares the shit out of me. I want to be someone different but everytime I try, I slip. I feel like I'm slipping again and I don't want to." She let it out in what seemed like one breath and leans onto Max's shoulder. They say there just leaning on each other for what felt like an hour, just allowing herself to be comforted by Max's presence. He never judged and knew when it was okay to ask questions and when it wasn't. She, for once, felt safe. 

Safe enough to drop another bomb on him.

"I been having problems recently too. Just some new found interest and I don't know how to go about it." 

"Mind telling me more detail?" He asked.

"I think I might having feelings for someone." She admits and tries to find her composure.

"Well, that is a good thing, isn't it?" Max asked, trying to understand

"I mean, it could be I guess but," She pauses, trying to find the correct words. "He is a good man, innocent even and I'm, well. I feel like I am the opposite. Like he is good for me but I'm not good for him." 

Aviva was shocked when Max let out something of a scoff as he hugged her. 

"You risk you're life everyday for the sake of a colony you barely know and yet still think so poorly of yourself." She goes to speak but is topped again by Max. "You told me you want to feel different, is there any possibility you like who you are with this person?" 

She was speechless. She couldn't think after that. All she could think was if Max was right. 

"I don't know Max. I want to change, I don't want to ever be that person again. But I'm also scared of the person I'm becoming but I know nothing about her. She is just so... New? What if I think I'm doing good and I'm just not? What do I do if I accidentally project that onto him?"

"Then you try harder or you walk away." She felt stupid for not realizing that. 

"Max I appreciate this but I'd like to be alone right now." He just nodded, gave her a shoulder squeeze and left. 

She sat in silence for another 20 minutes trying to take in everything Max had told her. She used to be so unhappy and surrounded by the wrong people. Now, she had a crew and, to her disbelief, someone who made her feel light. Like she could tell him anything and he would still try to find the good in her. Maybe her first real chance at being who she wanted was admitting her feelings.

Maybe... it's worth a shot? She thought.

She didn't want to sulk anymore or allow herself to feel sorry for herself. She wanted to feel happy and there was one person who made her feel that way. She got up from the floor and changed clothes, ones that didn't reek of cigarette. Gathering her composure as she finally left the captains quarters and up the stairs crews quarters.

She took one quick breath before knocking on the door. The door slide open and there stood Felix. His hair was a mess and smelled a little of alcohol. 

"Boss?" He said confused.

"There is a game tonight, I was just wondering you wanted some company?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aviva goes to Phineas for answers  
> Drinking and match making with Parvati; learning a little more about Rayna  
> Avi drunkenly flirts with Felix  
> Ada delivers a message

"Sam get out." 

"Affirmative." Much to Ada's displeasure. 

"Ada stop creeping on Sam. If you are going to, do it when I'm not around please." For artificial intelligence, she was surprisingly good at imitating a crush.

"I'm not sure what you mean Captain." Aviva just rolled her eyes.

On the Navigation Terminal, she floored it to Phineas's orbital lab. Entering the lab always felt weird to her. Aviva trusted Phineas but he was so painfully formal that having a conversation with him was near impossible. 

The conversations that they did have were so painfully forced as well but he was the only person who could give her the answers she wanted. So she was willing to suffer through.

Even the air inside the lab felt strange and smelt like chemicals and after shave.

It's not too late to turn back, She thought to herself.

Then all of a sudden the income clicked on. "Hello? Can you hear me?" Rang Phineas's voice.

Now it's too late. She dragged her feet as she approached the intercom, Phineas organizing some stray notes he had laying about. "You ever going to be brave enough to greet me on this side of the glass?"

"Someday in the near future, hopefully." Avi kind of rolled her eyes thinking his statement was bullshit. Yet she kept he mouth closed. "So what have I done to warrant an unplanned visit?" Phineas pressed.

"I just need somethings answered. It's about the other colonists."

"What would you like to know?" she took a breath and prepared herself. She was almost certain that it would be bad news. It's ironic she was trying to save the hope and yet she had no hope. 

"I know I'm the only person to survive that waking up process so far. I guess I was just concerned how many colonist would not survive? After all this work, how many people will die?" Dad and Rayna. All she could think about was her Dad and Rayna. They were the only two people on earth to ever be in her corner and the thought of losing them made her feel sick. 

"I am fairly confident that majority of the colonist would survive but after being frozen for so long, some might not survive too long after word. Other factors could cause them complications like past health history." 

How did he manage to make me feel better and worse at the same time, she thought. It was comforting to know that they would survive but only what if something happened later? Most days Aviva felt like literally garbage after being woken up after so long. 

"And what about the housing shortage? Majority of the shit show of a colony is overrun by marauders and overgrown insects. Even after these people are woken up, where will they go? Back to the hope?" 

"For a small time perhaps, just until we can lessen the infestation and rebuild some towns." Phineas, the king of comfort folks. "There will be a lot of work but I'm sure we ca-"

"I'm sorry, we? I agreed to topple the board, not step in as chairwoman. I am barely qualified to lead my crew let alone an entire fucking colony." She practically screeched. She was never a leader, she was only just learned to be a real leader to the crew. 

"If you are competent enough to topple the board, I'm sure your competent enough to help fix their mistakes." 

Not helping. 

"Maybe, but I'll have to sleep on it. Thanks Phineas." She practically ran out before he could say bye and back to the ship. 

She felt better and worse. The aching feeling of failing to help the people after they woken up scared that shit out her. What if she did manage to help Phineas save them but can't help them once they are awake in this broken colony?

A question she didn't want to be bothered with. What's the best way to temporarily forget?

Well it's time to get drunk, She thought. 

\- - -

This was one of the few times she got Parvati to come out drinking, but she knew the moment Junlei became available Parvati would be running off. She was fine with that, at least one of them can be happy. She enjoyed Parvati's company because she reminded her of Rayna some what. She held a protective instinct over both of them like no other and would give someone a black eye is they dared to make them upset. Both were overly sweet and compassionate. She cared about them and never hid it from them like she did with Felix or Max. 

"So what happened last night? Tell me everything!" 

"Huh?" 

"Did you not have a date with Felix last night?" Aviva rolled her eyes and took a drink of her Zero gee.

"It was NOT a date. We just hung out and watched tossball. Well he watched tossball, I just kind of sat there confused." Sad but true. She had ever intention of asking for it to be a date but panic mode kicked in at the wrong time. Parvati was obviously disappointed. 

"Hey, you got your own hopes up." 

"You are brave enough to try to take on a Mantiqueen by your lonesome but not brave enough to ask someone out." Aviva let out a laugh at the irony. Here they are in the lost hope, the very same place she encouraged Parvati to ask out Junlei. 

"What's so funny?"

"Our positions changed. What is it with this bar and matchmaking?" Parvati let out a 'oh' and let out a laugh herself.

"Think of it this way Parvati: At least I kind of approached the man, that's progress."

"If you say so captain."

\- - -

She wasn't drunk per say, but was more relaxed. There was a slight pep in her step and ease of mind she wanted without the dreaded hangover she wouldn't have the next morning. Her filter was also lost in the moment.

She stumbled as she stepped into the unreliable, greeted by the laughter of Nyoka, Felix and Ellie. They were sparring and Nyoka had gotten Felix into a headlock, to Ellie's amusement. She stood and watched for a moment as Felix attempts to break free but fails. 

"Looks like Felix strikes out again." Chimed Ellie from the side. 

"Aw come on Felix, I thought you could at least take on Ellie hand to hand," Aviva pipes in, making her presence known. 

"Wow, thanks captain. And We haven't sparred yet. Felix struck out with some girl on the groundbreaker earlier and now in a fight with Nyoka." Okay, that made more sense. 

"Hey, at least I tried!" Felix defended himself, finally being let go from Nyoka's grasp. "I'd rather try and be rejected than not try at all!"

"It's alright Felix. I'm sure there is some single girl waiting to find her messy hair, delinquent boyfriend." Nyoka says, shoving Felix to the side lines with Ellie.

"Yea, single women like me she means." Aviva says jokingly but even in her drunken state she could hear the pin drop.

Wait, why is Felix blushing?  
Why are Nyoka and Ellie holding in laughter?  
Why did it get quiet all of a sudden?  
Why are they staring at her?

Does my crew think I'm crazy or do I just need to go to sleep? She thought and asked herself. She just muttered 'alright then' and turned and went into the control room. Chit chatting with Ada before passing out in the captains chair.

She hadn't know how much time had passed before Ada's voice woke her up. 

"Captain, you have an urgent message from Stellar Bay." Avi groaned as she sat up, somewhat sobered up. She told Ada to play it and out came Sanjar's voice. He was concerned and need her back on monarch as soon as possible. Typical. 

"Is everybody on the ship?"

"Yes, captain. Should I make way to Stellar Bay?" Ada asks. Avi mutters a yes, falling back asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanjar and Hiram call on for help  
> Aviva desperately avoids Felix   
> Avi gets a pep talk from Nyoka

Aviva finally wakes up as the Unreliable docks in Stellar Bay. She smelt like Alcohol and B.O.

Do I have time to shower?   
Sanjar did say it was urgent.   
A 5 minute shower is harmless right?

Aviva groans as she got up out the captains chair and walked out to the bathroom. Her mind was fuzzy and took her a few to remember the events of earlier that day. Drinking with Parvati, Sparring in the cargo hold. What was she missing? Talking to Ellie, Nyoka and... Felix?

Felix. Shit. Shit. Shit.   
What did I say to him? "Single women like me she means." Oh Shit, okay, that's equal parts embarrassing and bad. 

She was forced to realize that no amount of scrubbing could wash away that embarrassment. 

\- - -

Stepping out onto the Stellar Bay landing pad was always great and terrible at the same time. On one hand, Aviva loves Stellar bay and Monarch in general, on the other, The sickening smell of sulfur and fish. 

Until Felix started talking about when they are done if they could go to the tossball betting place, then suddenly she hated Stellar Bay but bit her tongue. Alright, he is talking about seeing Nell, so maybe she didn't embarrass herself as bad as she thought? Her tiny wave of relief did nothing to help the giant wave of jealousy she was now feeling 

Focus. Sanjar needs something, she thought to herself, trying to distract herself. Barely achieving that goal. 

Finally reaching the center of Stellar Bay, Avi stops and greets Celia. Aviva thought that Celia was adorable funny an maintained a distant friendship with her. She couldn't say that she agreed with her choice of men however. After a quick hello, she continued onto Sanjar. 

This man has the physique of a grizzly bear but the personality and intimidation factor of a puppy and Aviva always tries to tread lightly while in his presence. She couldn't bring herself to joke about him, he was too pure. 

"Is there a reason why I had to floor it back here?" She says, getting his attention from his spreadsheet of the day and his face instantly lit up. 

"Ay yes, it's wonderful you were able to get here so fast! I have concerns about Hiram. We ceased broadcasting and everything was alright for a while but we haven't heard anything from Devil's peak in the last week." 

"So you called me back here for a welfare check?" She said while mildly annoying. "I don't mind helping Hiram but did you or Zora send anyone out to check on the man?" 

"Well yes, but the C3's wouldn't let any of our people through. We figured since you worked with them before they'd be more accepting to you." Alright that was a fair enough point and she groaned. "We can afford to pay you a handsome sum if you do us this favor." Sanjar offered.

"No thanks. Being allowed to annoy Hiram is payment enough." 

"Ain't that the truth." Nyoka says, causing the others to laugh a bit. She muttered off a goodbye and headed out Devils Peak, actually starting to worry for Hirams well being.

\- - -

"I am under specific instructions not to let anyone through," The C3 guard at the door was seriously trying Aviva's patience. 

"And I am under specific instructions to check on Hermit Hiram, so move. The fuck. Out of the way." Aviva tries to push past the woman and the woman shoves her backward, finally upholstering her gun. 

"You must be extremely Dim. Turn around and leave now." 

"And you are a shady son of a bitch. Hiram is a lonely sarcastic ass but even he wouldn't go this far." Nyoka calls out the woman, distracting her long enough for Aviva to disarm her. 

"For mercenaries, you're terrible at your job." At this time the other two men got defensive and came closer to the group, clearly trying to appear threatening.

"Alright, this is pointless, Nyoka?" Nyoka nods and the two proceeds to mow down the 3 mercs. Aviva's mental alarm was going crazy. Nyoka was correct, even Hiram wouldn't go this far to keep people out. What the hell was up with the C3's?

"I wonder if the day will come if we aren't saving this man's hide."

Pushing their way through the door, the C3's shot on sight but were incompetent and could barely aim correctly. Slowly but sure, they push their way to the top of the tower and to Hiram.

"You got the story wrong Hiram. The dashing prince is supposed to fight their way up the tower to save the Princess." She says to a now relieved Hiram. He was standing by his terminal, desperately trying to get the thing to work.

"We can be sarcastic hull heads later please. You being here means you got rid of the C3's correct?" 

"Did you not hear the shit show go down out there? It wasn't quiet." Pointing to the blood that had stained her boots. 

"I hate to interrupt but what's been going on here?" Max pipes in, steering the conversation in a new direction.

"Long story short, they were bought off by the board and held me here and shut down my station. Why they kept me alive, I'm not too sure. Clearly a stupid decision on their end." He explains while desperately trying to the the station back up. Hiram didn't have to explain for Aviva to know it was because of her. He helped her and Phineas, of course he would be come the boards enemy. 

If he was considered an enemy to the board, why did they keep him alive?  
Maybe they wanted him to point them to Phineas?  
If that's the case, why didn't they come take Hiram into custody?  
Why wasn't he arrested?  
Why didn't they send competent mercenaries?

"I will go out and get the Station back up and running and call Stellar Bay to send new mercs for you, and then I'll find out what the board had planned." 

Climbing out onto the roof, they restart the transmissions and sends the call out to Stellar Bay, reinforcements on the way. 

\- - -

Aviva was grateful that the C3's base was a short walk away from Devil's peak. She was craving a breaking from the Monarch craziness and she had to look through the base for any clues anyway, which weren't hard to find on their terminal. It said to hold Hiram indefinitely and to report any encounters with outside parties. 

That's all? There is no way that's all there is. Aviva was a good hacker but not the best. 

"Max can you check to see if there are any hidden messages?" 

"I can try." Music to her ears. The others guys had already picked the place clean, she figured this was a good time to finally get that break in. She sat down on the porch, breathing in the disgusting sulfur filled air. Parvati was picking flowers near by, they agreed to make more crowns later. Ellie and Nyoka were talking and Felix... where is Felix?

"Hey Boss, you have a minute?" Found him. 

Fuck, what do I do? 

"Oh, uh, hi. I was just going to help Parvati." Success? 

"Oh. You mind if I helped?" Yes. Yes she would mind.

"Not at all." Aviva you are weak. She knew what he wanted to talk about and she couldn't begin to mentally prepare herself for that conversation. She was mentally kicking herself for not having a backbone. The next few minutes or so were filled with awkwardly strained conversations, Parvati tried to push Aviva to speak to him and Aviva pushed back. Max coming out with the drive with the deleted messages was her saving grace and she got the hell out of there.

\- - -

Most of the crew had things they wanted to do in Stellar Bay so the unreliable stayed docked, but today Aviva preferred to stay in her quarters. Mostly to avoid Felix but she wanted to escape the sulfur stained air too. She knew they needed to hurry to stop whatever shit show the board had planned for Hiram, but he was safe now and she was trying to delay the inevitable. She had expected to be alone for most of the evening so the sound of someone entering the unreliable caught her her off guard. To add to her surprise, it was Nyoka. Sober Nyoka. And she was approaching the captains quarters.

"Hey cap, we should talk." Oh no. Talk's with Nyoka means tough love and being called out. No matter how hard she tried, there was no hiding anything from Nyoka. 

"Yes, we should talk about what we are drinking tonight." Aviva says, raising her Zero gee. 

"We can talk about that later. Right now I want to talk about what's going on between you and Felix."

"There is nothing between Felix and I." She denied, terribly. 

"Of course there is something. Clearly a single woman like yourself can see it." Touche. "What's going with you two?"

"Nothing and that's the truth. I doubt he even thinks of me in that way." 

"How do you think about him?" Well... she didn't rightfully know. In truth, she never really thought it through. Did she want a fling or a long term relationship? Was she even ready for a relationship? Was HE ready for a relationship? Does she have any faith in the relationship being healthy? 

"I uh," She paused and too a breath, looking around as if the answers would show themselves. "I mean, he's sweet. He's Outgoing, has a good heart, sometimes annoyingly optimistic, kind of charming... I guess he is everything that I'm not."

"A clear case of opposites attract, but you seem to think it's a problem?"

"I don't see it as a problem, I see it as uncertainty." 

"Like most relationships are. If they weren't uncertain, divorce or separation wouldn't exist. You shouldn't shy away at something because you are afraid of the outcome and then leaving yourself wondering 'what if'" Avi knew nyoka was right, score one for Nyoka.

"Okay, okay I see your point. Even if I did want to do something, how would I go by approach him?" She had went through the scenario in her head over and over and somehow none of them seemed good enough. 

"Are we still talking about Felix? He isn't exactly hard to strike up a conversation with." Nyoka starts, laughing half way through. "You outta stop aiming for perfection." 

Was that my problem? Do I aim to high? Was Nyoka right? Should she stop trying to plan every moment and just try?

"Alright, I'll try. As soon as I gain the courage to."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aviva finds out what the board planned to do with hiram  
> Aviva lashes out at Max

Out of all the places in Halcyon to set up an undercover operation, her first guess would be Scylla. According to the boards deleted messages, they were holed up in some abandoned relay station. 

I was close enough, she thought.

Smart area if they are trying to get information quietly. Bad area if they were hoping to survive an ambush, which she was totally planning. Said relay station was near Terra 2 however, so why not just just operate in Byzantium like they normally would? Are board people really that lazy that they would skip an entire step? Well one less step for them is also one less step for her, so she wouldn't complain. 

"So what's the plan? Guns blazing or bludgeoning?" Felix says, not trying to hide his violent enthusiasm.

"What ever makes your little heart happy, lets just try to make it quick." She says and everyone leaves the unreliable. Felix and Max followed Aviva while Nyoka, Ellie and Parvati went the other way. They were making sure no one escaped. From what she read on the terminal messages, she expected this place to be crawling with guards but they hardly saw more than one guard or Automac in one room. 

"Well this is hardly what we expected." Felix says.

"Not at all, this place is a ghost town. Clear Hiram wasn't that important if they refused to send more than five guards to defend this place." 

"They decided Hiram wasn't that important when they trusted the C3's to be competent." Max says, causing Aviva to snicker. He wasn't wrong. They hadn't been separated from the others for more than ten minutes before they met up again at the end of the station.

"Either we were tricked or this was simply a distraction because we saw no more than three guards." Alright, fuck. All this way here and to find nothing but a empty station>

"Okay, any terminals then?" 

"One but it looks like its in bad shape." She glanced at Max who had already knew her next request and headed over to the terminal. Nyoka wasn't exaggerating, that terminal looked like someone had ran it over a couple times but thank whatever god there might be for Max. It was a miracle that he was able to get it back up and running but he seemed upset by what was on it.

"Well? What is it?" Walking over to the terminal, over Max's shoulder. It was instructions that if they were unsuccessful in finding a family bond to Aviva on the hope then to go to monarch and hold Hiram as a bargaining chip. 

They were looking for leverage over me?   
Something that would make me back down and leave the board be. Considering that this was over a week ago, they either had figured out who her dad and Rayna were or they were still searching. All that filled her mind was fear and doubt as she raced back into the unreliable, immediately setting it in route to Phineas's lab.

\- - -

"Shouldn't we being going to your hometown to protect your dad instead of visiting a lunatic scientist?"

"I have my reason's Max, please leave it be." 

Her skin started to crawl as her mind once again shifted to the worst outcome. What if he died? The only person in the universe who didn’t call her crazy. The only one to believe what she said she went through. The only person she ever truly felt safety with. 

“Then tell me what I’m supposed to do Max, because I have no idea.” She was pleading with him at this point. Desperate for some sort of remedy that would steer her mind away from these thoughts. 

This topic. 

“Start by telling me what’s so important on the Hope that you’re so afraid of the board destroying?” Max asks, taking her hands into his. Surprised, she looked down to see herself trembling. She was so far gone that she hadn’t even noticed. 

“It’s my dad.” She starts and stops. She felt like she was swaying back and forth, or like she was about to be sick. “And Rayna.”

“Talk to me about them.” 

“Well, uh, my dad, I met him when I was fourteen. Right after I ran away from my foster parent. Rayna ran away with me but she was never actually adopted. She didn't want to be." Fuck, how much was oversharing? How much did she want to keep to herself? How much was she comfortable with Max knowing? 

"I-" She starts and stops again. What was she supposed to say? Oh hey, my dad was the only person who believed that I was being physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually abused? Oh and it was also happening to Rayna as well. That everyone called her a liar and a trouble child who made up stories. Was she supposed to say how her dad practically raised her to be a killer for hire because she couldn't stand the idea of being vulnerable to anyone ever again?

"Capta-"

"What the fuck do you expect me to say Max? Do you want to know about the times that I would get high to forget all the shit that happened? Or the time that Rayna stopped me from hurting a woman because of her defending my abuser? Or the nights my dad stayed up comforting me because I would get so riled up FANTASIZING about hurting her and her fucking enablers? Give me one reason why I should explain any of this to you, of all people." She says while ripping her hands away from him and moving away. She wanted to hit something, but not Max. 

“Captain, you are among friends, I’m happy to lend an ear whenever you need.”

“I know, but I also know that you are a friend who doesn’t believe what I say. You don’t believe that I am from the hope, so I’m sorry if I have doubts about whether or not you believe me when I speak about my past.” Max's once calm expression was wiped off his face at the statement. She had expected him to get angry, if he had than maybe she wouldn't have felt so guilty. No matter how guilty she felt, she still knew that what she said was true.

She left his room pissed and depressed as she hoped they'd just get to the lab already.


End file.
